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Criminal Jokes Category:

All our jokes listing within the Criminal jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow." "OK, son," said his da... more

2.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
"What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?" asked the judge. "Well, Your Honor," replied the arresting officer, "I sa... more

3.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet... more

4.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in... more

5.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A mafiosos son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good... more

6.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed."Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain."Yes... more

7.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. "Shall I run and get it for you?" asked the pri... more

8.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.For years, for thousands of hours, he worked wi... more

9.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car... Who is driving the car?A police officer!... more

10.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifte... more

11.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!" "Dont you mean... more

12.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "Theres a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morni... more

13.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day w... more

14.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Thre... more

15.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Criminal: Why dont you hire these twins for the robbery, boss?Criminal Boss: Im afraid of a double-cross.... more

16.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs?Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.... more

17.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."... more

18.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.... more

19.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the burglar who fell in the cement mixer? Now hes a hardened criminal.... more

20.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the calendar thief?He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!... more

21.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels. Harry: The dirty crooks.... more

22.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
How do bank robbers send messages?By flee mail!... more

23.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake? No!... more

24.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have?Organised grime (crime).... more

25.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
It was Rockys first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were intheir cells and he was trying to become a bit m... more

26.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Its a pity youve gone on hunger strike, said the convicts girlfriend on visiting day. Why ? Ive put a file in your cake.... more

27.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; Im a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery sh... more

28.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.... more

29.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didnt you take the food instead of the c... more

30.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Knock KnockWhos there !Burglar !Burglar who ?Burglars dont knock !... more

31.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he fr... more

32.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall, and the other green and yellow and... more

33.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen?Criminal: It wasnt when I took it.... more

34.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow i... more

35.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow i... more

36.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
t was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?""Doing my Christ... more

37.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
The criminal mastermind found one of his gang sawing the legs off his bed. "What are you doing that for?" demanded the c... more

38.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their... more

39.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed... more

40.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
Victim (to mugger): But my watch isnt any good, it only has sentimental value.Mugger: Thats all right. Im sentimental.... more

41.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? Im at your service, maam.... more

42.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up? Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.... more

43.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What diploma do criminals get?The third degree.... more

44.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What do you call a mayfly with a criminal tendencies ?Baddy long legs !... more

45.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What do you call a robbery in China ?A Chinese take away !... more

46.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ?Robbery with violets !... more

47.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner ?A Kong - vict !... more

48.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What hired killer never goes to jail?The exterminator.... more

49.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?One steals from the people, the other peals, from the steeple.... more

50.   Category: Criminal jokes  0 stars
What kind of party do prisoners in jail like most of all.A going-away party.... more





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