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Dead And Dying Jokes Category:

All our jokes listing within the Dead and dying jokes category are listed below. Click on any of the items to view the full joke.

1.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees."Yes, Sir," the new employee replied. "Well, t... more

2.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
"Why are you crying Fred?" asked the teacher. "Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk. . ." "Fred," said the... more

3.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A chap went up to the counter in the library and said, "Have you got any books about committing suicide?"The librarian s... more

4.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher were sentenced to death by firing squad. The chemist was taken from his cell and a... more

5.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he... more

6.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence call the day after the friends wife has died. When he knocks on... more

7.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally, he starts describing the tall buildings in his... more

8.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A man was sitting in the electric chair. The executioner said, "Look, Im sorry but Im going to have to throw the switch... more

9.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A monster and a zombie went into a funeral home. Id like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died, said... more

10.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A monster and a zombie went into the undertakers. "Id like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died," sa... more

11.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field,until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He... more

12.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for herhusbands funeral. She tells the director that she wants her... more

13.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. Af... more

14.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily... more

15.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
At the inquest into her husbands death by food poisoning Mrs Wally was asked by the coroner if she could remember her hu... more

16.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the do-it-yourself funeral? They just loosen the earth and you sink down by yourself.... more

17.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job.... more

18.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time? It was a dead heat.... more

19.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place and was sacked for the grave mistake?... more

20.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Did you hear someone has invented a coffin that just covers the head?Its for people like you whore dead from the neck up... more

21.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, I feel dead from the waist down. Ill arrange for you to be halfburied.... more

22.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Doctor, doctor, Im at deaths door! Dont worry, Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through.... more

23.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
First ghoul: You dont look too well today. Second ghoul: No, Im dead on my feet.... more

24.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
How do you make a Venetian blind?Poke him in the eye... more

25.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week.Well, we had to, you know, she was dead.... more

26.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
If a man was born in England, raised in America and died in Spain, what does that make him? Dead.... more

27.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
If a woman is born in Italy, grows up in England, goes to America and dies in Baltimore, what is she?Dead.... more

28.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Ive been e-mailing William Shakespeare.William Shakespeares dead, silly.No wonder he hasnt replied.... more

29.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
My brothers a professional boxer. Heavyweight ?No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !... more

30.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lovers funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she... more

31.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Q: What is the definition of Death?A: When you stop paying taxes suddenly.... more

32.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Answer: "Leave it to Beaver."... more

33.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gatheredaround him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled... more

34.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?Girl: One - the dead one!... more

35.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?Pupil: Dead ?, I didnt even know he was sick !... more

36.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff, "Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?" "Course not," rep... more

37.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really... more

38.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is ne... more

39.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!... more

40.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortun... more

41.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Waiter, theres a fly in my soup !Yes, its the rotting meat that attracts them !... more

42.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
Waiter, waiter! Theres a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Whos going to look after his family?... more

43.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What are you doing? Im trying to call Washington! Oh, havent you heard? Hes dead!... more

44.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What did the little kid do with the dead battery?He buried it.... more

45.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? Pete.... more

46.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What do you find in a zombies veins? Dead blood corpuscles.... more

47.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.... more

48.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What is posthumous work ?Something written by someone after they are dead !... more

49.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes.... more

50.   Category: Dead and dying jokes  0 stars
What is the last thing you eat before you die?You bite the dust.... more





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